It is one of those nights where you really want to have a drink and everyone just seems to be busy for the night. Well, not just everyone but the people that matters. The frustration was just overwhelming. I was taken aback when I started crying out of frustration. I'm not quite sure if I'm actually crying due to that or the fact that my little bubble of protection is about to burst. And while I was being protected by the bubble, I haven't really thought about what I should do about what I was being protected from. Despite all, I still worry but at least I get my sleep with some help. Someone told me I was feeling the way I do it's because of my sudden lost of support. I am trying to be my own support. My own pillar of strength. So that I don't have to depend on anyone to be ok. That no matter what happens, I am my own strength. But I can't seem to find it in me. Not now. I just feel as though I'm sinking deeper and deeper, it just gets harder to breathe. And I'm tired of struggling. So, so tired. I don't really know what to do. Especially, right now. When I'm all alone in my room and the silence is deafening. I can hear my thoughts out loud. My heartbeat pounding against my ears. My sighs bouncing off the walls. I'm tired. |